lilb3bepopo
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Name: popo
Gender: Female


Occupation: Student
Industry: Other


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AIM: lilb3bepopo


Member Since: 5/21/2003

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ASIAN AMERICAN CHRISTIANS
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I'm a LEO
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UC Davis 2009
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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Where is the fucking rainbow?



Lately, I've been having a lot of family problems.  Actually I've been having family problems for years already.  Always a new issue coming up.  Yesterday I had a big argument with my dad... he just wants me to not mind his business... but expects me to be the perfect obedient daughter.  He is just too controlling, I cry all the time and I want to leave this family so bad.  On father's day morning, I packed my things and was ready to leave home at 8am... but my mom woke up and stopped me.  She said, " He's still your father, I know how he is and he'll never change.  I bite my lips and have tolerated him for so long.  You're still young... just hang on till you're independent then you can do whatever you want."  I stayed for dim sum but then I left for Davis right after without saying Happy Father's Day or the usual goodbye and hug. 

Today... I didn't expect my life would be so low.

When my brother slammed the front door and left, my mom breaking her limit, screaming at everyone to just let this family shatter and walking out, I received a text that I really didn't need...

It's like a storm with thunder and lighting... but this storm never ended.  I've been waiting for so long but there is no fucking rainbow after the rain...the sun never came out... and instead just more dark heavy clouds began pouring on me.    I just wish God would tell me when will this all be over...


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Sometimes I just don't understand.  Did I ever do anything intentionally to hurt anyone?

Why do people keep judging me so much when they're not in my position? Do they understand what's going on in my life?  Can they really say I fucked up when they don't know everything?  

Honestly in these past couple of years, so much shit has happened, and who knows? Maybe the only person is Bao. Who actually asks me? No one.  I don't go around telling everyone but that doesn't mean I am living in paradise right now.  I have tried putting in effort towards different parts of my life but I can't give a 100% to everything, and I just get doors slammed in my face.  It's just so hard for others to understand me now.  In the end, you know what I have to face? Shit-talk, attitude, fakeness, sarcasm,.. I don't know.  I have reasons for the paths I chose, and the decisions I made.  Be aware that how people think can be easily affected by what others tell them too.  And when they think one thing turned bad, the whole thing is bad.

All I ask is, please, if you have something to say to me, then just say it. I can't deal with all this hinting me crap.  Can we all please grow up and stop thinking so childish?    Please take some time to consider what you say and how you act because I can take things very wrongly.  I'm a very straight-forward person. I really don't like to hint people nor deal with their hints.

If those people's goals were to make me feel like shit, then congratulations to them, they've succeeded.  I hope they ask themselves, what did I ever do to intentionally hurt them?  What did I do that was so wrong? And why do I deserve to have backs faced to me when I am trying to reach out.

Good job guys, good job.


Thursday, July 03, 2008

wow.. i'm in class right now learning how to use Dreamweaver and i have to say.... that shit makes making websites soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking easy i swear.... people who don't know any html codes and stuff can use this.
i need to get this thing at home!


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

click view to help me!
i submitted it very late so its kinda hard to catch up to other people but i'm still going to try.
click click!




Sunday, June 01, 2008

AhJA i feel so tired.

Friday came back from class and was suppose to go to Cindy's clubbing event but couldn't get myself an ID. ahhhhh...... two and half more months! then had to write my part of skit, slept at 2.

Saturday, woke up early to go run errands and crap.  At 3ish, practice DJ with Bao for formal.  Formal ended at 12, got home at 1ish and went straight to bed after a Kimchi Bowl.

Sunday woke up at 9, got ready to meet up for filming skit at 10, but people lagged and didn't start till 11ish 12.  Edited almost the whole script -.- , filmed a couple of scenes, didn't finish, meet up again later tonight.
One research poster - mounted due at 12pm tomorrow.  12 Page Catalogue due for pre critique at 4pm. 

ah....... shoot me!!!!!!




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